How a Pile of Puckey Taught me to be an Optimist

I remember the day I become a positive person. I was about 7, and snuggled up on the back dashboard of my parents yellow and white Studebaker. Looking for animals shapes in the clouds as we rumbled through the hills of Mt. Shasta , returning from our yearly trek to Seattle.

My jokester Dad was at the wheel.

"Ya ever hear the one about the twins who both wanted a pony? "

"No, Dad.. tell it".

"Both twins wanted a pony in the worst way. Yearned for one. Would do anything just to get one. Once day they were brought to a barn door, chockful of horse puckey. (I'm sure he said shit, but Iet's pretend he didn't swear in front of a 7 year old.) The first twin started bawling. "Why that's nothin but a bunch of puckey.... WWHAAAAA I wanted a pony... WWhhAAAAAAA.....

"The second twin grabbed a shovel and started shoveling for all she was worth. Between huffs and puffs she gasped out 'With all this horse puckey, there's GOT to be a pony in there SOMEWHERE!!!!'.

"And that's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist", he said. "It's all in how you see things. You got a choice"

My little 7 year old brain latched onto that one. Hmmm, I'ld rather believe there a pony in there. You can choose how to look at things. The glass can be half full, or half empty.... Hmmm. I like that.

I thought of my Mom on our yearly trips to Seattle during the broiling valley heat. Wet dishrags tucked into the windows to mimic the air conditioning we didn't have. She'd say "It could be worse. Aren't we lucky we brought dish rags?"

Driving through the flammable fields of dry dead grass on either side of the road..."Don't you just love the shimmering golden hills of California? We're so lucky. Look how the breeze billows patterns into those fields. It's art, I tell you." Hmm... never noticed. Before.

Now I can't see a dry field without thinking of my Mom's viewpoint. And marveling at the beauty. It may have been a child's decision to make my Dad happy. It may have been a way to make teachers like me. Or to be like my Mom. Who cares. I made the choice. And it's stuck with me my whole life.

Now, every time I hear someone whine about the market, and how it sucks, and how much equity we have lost, I think of horse puckey... "Yeah, but think of the buyers who are being offered the golden ticket". Complaints of interest going above 5%???"You gotta be kidding.... it could be 8%.... 5's a gift."

It's all in how you look at it.

There's a silver lining to every cloud.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

And ya can't teach old dogs new tricks..... Now I'm stuck with it.

Life is good.

flickr photos by Jason0Morrison and VisualPanic

How I learned to... "Leap and the Net Will Appear"

As a realtor we are faced with new situations all the time.  A new area, a challenging personality, new software, an "unsurmountable" escrow problem.  While it may seem impossible to deal with some of these challenges, I've come to know you have to just take it one step at a time and trust you will figure it out as you go.  I've learned to "leap and the net will appear".  Just do it!

So how did I learn this?

I started dreaming when my youngest was a high school sophomore, about making a video for her class, and trying to capture some, a lot, most, nearly all... all 250 kids in her class. Criminy, how do I do that?

I just started videoing, not knowing how to do it, but believing I would figure it out. I knew how to point a camera, knew how to do basic editing (I had done 2 other water polo season videos), and knew how to make a cool DVD. But this was HUGE. I decided to take it one step at a time, and make progress, but not expect perfection.

I started showing up with my camera... water polo, football, baseball, hallways at lunch, rallies, homecoming hall decorating, interviews with the kids. It was so fun. For 3 years... a few probably thought I was stalking them.
Two months before graduation, I started editing. In between escrows, signings, showing homes, marketing, cleaning house, cooking, sleeping. Actually, my husband did all the cooking and cleaning so I could edit... edit....edit. Oops, not enough computer memory... buy more. Crud, what's with the sluggish playback... call help line. Why doesn't this transition work?... swear for two days and don't sleep. OOHHH... I figured it out. Wait, I forgot two seniors from softball... run to a game in the rain.

The night I processed the final version (it takes all night) it all appeared to crash. Help line to Sally.. "You have an irreparable bug. You'll just have to start over." Sally to help line... "@%^*$#*$*(#&$*#... no freakin way!!!". 3 years of my life down the drain. But I wouldn't accept that. I looked at it from outside the box. I WILL figure it out. "Maybe this is it". Another night of processing. 3 am. I'm at the pute checking it. I play it back. IT WORKS!!!!! I do a little victory dance and scream in my head to the video gods.

My daughter softly calls to me from the dark. She is also awake, knowing what's at stake. I snuggle into her bed, dissolving into tears at the relief that the biggest technical endeavor of my life turned out. She holds me, our long legs wrapped around each others, entwined in such loving intimacy. We lay there until dawn, chatting... expounding on "going for it", marveling at technology, gossiping about kids in her class, talking about the future... about life. I knew it was a moment that would stay with me til my dying breath. So precious, so amazing, so in the moment. Her loving what I had done for her, and for all the kids of her class.

I went in to work that morning wrung out from crying and the tension release. On my chair was a hand-written note from my daughter...

"Momma... while it may at times seem like nobody appreciates the countless hours you've spent working on this video, what you have created for my class is something that will touch many kids.

"The impact you and Dad have had on the students at Del Campo is too great to measure. While it may seem that some of the sacrifices are in vain, remember the kids you two have been second parents to, the friends of ours that look to you for advice, those you have cared for. The girls Dad baked cookies for, bought Sierra Shootout T-shirts for, the girls he taught to have confidence. By sending out emails to organize homecoming halls you gave some kids the first homemade cookies they had had in years.

"In the same way, this video will give the students whose parents never owned a video camera the first glimpse of them playing a sport, or the only picture they have of their lunchtime group. This video will give the seniors something to look back on. And more importantly, proof that someone other than their parents cares and is willing to make sacrifices for them. I am so fortunate to be your daughter and a part of your life. I love you both."

More tears.

Grad night came around. Bowling, blackjack, video karaoke, sticker tattoos... a long night of fun. At 2 am the kids assembled for a movie, not knowing what to expect, most not wanting to take time out from their fun. The video rolled. Dead silence. More dead silence. Jaws agape. No movement. No blinking. Sweetness is background music to a section. "Whooo--oo-oo--ooo......" all in unison. They are mesmerized. Entranced. Stunned. For 59 minutes.

It was all worth it.

Weeks later, I was in a gift shop. On the wall was a plaque... "Leap and the net will appear". That was it! That was what I had done! I had leap off the cliff, not knowing whether I could pull it off, but knowing that putting one edit in front of the next, one song choice laid down at a time, one transition before the next one was how to do it. Solve each problem as it came along. I believed I could do it if I made daily progress, even though it seemed impossible at times.

And the net did appear. I figured it all out.



Flickr photo by eidur k

How I Learned... "The Devil is in the Details", and ended a lifetime of migraines without meds.

Being a realtor takes an incredible amount of energy.  Your days are long, and it is demanding to deal with the fires we put out, and the changing issues we deal with.  Try doing it with a migraine!

I've had migraines since I was tiny... at least 5. Two to 3 a week. When I didn't have a migraine, I felt crappy - tight shoulders, tight neck, throbbing base of my neck. Generally like I wanted to lie on the couch all day, but I didn't. Yet I was so happy to not have a migraine, I paid no attention.

Never dawned on me it might be something I was eating. But I've discovered 13 nondescript, bizarre little stealth bombers that are the culprits. Things like guar gum, red wine vinegar (not balsamic, thank god), and whey. Pesky little details... Go figure.

How did I do it? I read a book called Eat Right for Your Type, about what foods conflict with the 4 blood types. Sounds pretty hocus pocus, if you ask me. But I liked the things on my "good for you" list (meat, veggies, fruits, no dairy, no wheat, no spuds... I'm an "O"). I could handle it. I went cold turkey, reading every label thoroughly, and making lists of ingredients that didn't bother me, and those that did. It took 2 years.

I had figured out on my own that whey gave me migraines (and eating betaine enzymes helped with that), but not the other stuff. I started noticing I was feeling pretty good... consistently. Like.. a normal neck and loose shoulders. Like... great! Dang, I liked it! I didn't know people could feel this way. WooHoo, I can tackle the world. I'm raring to go!

First I noticed guar gum.. WHAT IN THE HECK'S THAT!. Then, capers... pffffuuhh... I love capers. Then sunflower oil, red wine vinegar, all cheeses except mozarella, feta and farmer's (yeah, so pizza's mostly out), and arabic gum, for crying out loud. Who ever heard of that? But my blood had, and they were mortal enemies. My blood went into attack mode, bringing out the heavy artillery to fight off the invaders, wreaking havoc in my brain.

So how did it take me 57 years to figure this out? I honestly never had a clue it was what I ate. From the time I was little, they poked, prodded, hooked me up to needles, you name it. "Oh, your daughter has a mild brain anomaly,... a short circuit, so to speak. Let's put her on phenobarbital, see if that helps." I was 10.

Other drugs and mumbo jumbo came and went, all to no avail. It was still 2 - 3 a week. There was no test that gave a definitive answer. Fortunately Imitrex came along a relieved the migraines, but nothing stopped the funky feeling. The sad part is how I would never commit myself to anything where I would need to be counted on, because I didn't know how I would feel. I'm amazed I tackled college, but remember sitting through finals on the verge of puking, and dropping my grade a whole notch in a class I adored and should have aced.

Today? I'm Queen of the World!!!!! I feel great! (cept when one of those pesky little details slips into my food). I have so much energy, I'm exhilarated, and so charged up I can barely stand it! The down side?... I'm a real hit at dinner parties - I don't eat it if I can't read it. Otherwise I pay the price for 1-1/2 days. And going out to eat is no fun any more. Small price to pay, however, for finally finding bliss.

Woo Hoo..... Big time!

flickr photo by joana roja-left hand/arm & migraine chick

A Full Day of Motivation...

Yesterday I went to the all-day "Get Motivated" Seminar at ARCO Arena - the one with Colin Powell, Rudy Guliani, Michael Phelps, Steve Phelps, Zig Ziglar and more. It was awesome. People are feeling so down these days, I wanted to share some of the highlights for me.

Steve Forbes - "The world can only end once, and this isn't it". While this is a time of pain and loss for many, it is a time of great opportunity for others. Focus on the opportunity. During this time we will see small players rise to be the big players. Who had ever heard of Oracle, Apple and Microsoft before they became big? Those who sit and lick their wounds are going to miss the great opportunities that are out there.


Forbes also said to quit reading the negative news, because we then believe that's all there is. There are tremendous innovations coming, yet we don't read about them. He mentioned a bundle of fibers inserted in a straw, that has the power to sanitize filthy water by the time it reaches the lips. Life-changing for a 3rd-world country! There's good stuff out there. Let's focus on that.

Colin Powell -What a guy. Very funny... and loose. Whodathunkit? He says there is an emptiness after coming down from such a lofty position as Secretary of State ... so he bought a Corvette. It worked! Seriously, he says he leads his life looking through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror. And though he has met with all the world leaders and had a 747 at his disposal, he focuses on what's to come, not what he used to be. And he listens to his wife!


Zig Ziglar was the emotional hot button for the day. He got a head injury in a fall 2 years ago, and now has short term memory loss and vertigo. But that man has a smile permanently etched into his 82 year old face that lights up a room. With his daughter lovingly guiding him back to the story at hand, and away from his 3rd repetition of others, Zig spoke of how doing the right thing is always what has worked in his life. And how the way to have success is to help other people get what they want. He talked about how money will buy you a house, but not a home... a bed, but not a good night's sleep... a companion, but not a friend. He showed us his "Wall of Gratitude", with photos of those who have inspired and helped him along the way. While it was sad to see his decline, it inspired me to see an 82 year old icon still giving, and sharing his wonderful attitude. And still cracking jokes. When his daughter stopped him as he ramped up into his 2nd rendition of a story, he'ld crack "but there were 3 people in the 2nd row that were sleeping. They need to hear it again."

Rudy Guliani - Spoke about leadership. And he reflected on not letting failure get you down, because it is inevitable. "Leadership is about managing failure". In these times, with so many people being forced to let go of their dreams, this seemed poignant.

And fear? Who isn't facing fear right now... if not for themselves, for someone they love? "If you are not afraid, you should be in therapy", he said. "But use the fear to guide you to minimize your failure." Well said. Build up your preparedness for what you fear. Use it to motivate you, not paralyze you.

Guiliani also spoke of 4 hours of preparation for every hour of performance, so you are equipped to adjust to unexpected events. 911 was not specifically prepared for. But each of the emergency responses he ordered came from a portion of a preparedness plan they had in place for a different disaster. He was an awesome speaker.

And the highlight of the day?... Michael Phelps. My friend pulled her 10 year old swimmer daughter out of school for the day. She wanted to see her hero enough to sit through Rudy, Steve, Zig, Colin and other speakers on finances, the stock market etc. Not fodder for a 10 year old, believe me. But she finagled a front-row seat for Michael, wide eyed and full of hope. Michael spoke of how he trained every day for 5 years without a single day off. How he had wanted this forever, and how the nay-saying articles just became the backdrop in his locker that inspired him daily to do what "couldn't be done". He acknowledged making mistakes along the way, but that he has learned from each one. It was clear he is not one to let adversity stop him. He spoke of the race when his goggles filled with water, so he improvised by counting the strokes he had done a bazillion times. He knew where the end was. And he won gold. It was clear he has the attitude of a champion to take what comes (whether self-inflicted or imposed by fate) and make adjustments to what is. He proved Rudy right... 4 hours (or 4,000 in his case) of preparation will give you the knowledge to make adjustments when disaster hits.

It was an inspiring day... so pertinent to our life. In Sacramento, and the rest of the country, people are losing their homes, losing their jobs, making sacrifices. But, keep looking ahead, and face your fears. Shore yourself up to avoid catastrophe when that which you fear happens. And keep practicing and getting better, so you can shift and make adjustments when the unexpected happens.

Flickr photos by Photograham, xDaniel, GTM Photography, Parker Young Photography, xtrapopp, and Marcopako