How a Pile of Puckey Taught me to be an Optimist

I remember the day I become a positive person. I was about 7, and snuggled up on the back dashboard of my parents yellow and white Studebaker. Looking for animals shapes in the clouds as we rumbled through the hills of Mt. Shasta , returning from our yearly trek to Seattle.

My jokester Dad was at the wheel.

"Ya ever hear the one about the twins who both wanted a pony? "

"No, Dad.. tell it".

"Both twins wanted a pony in the worst way. Yearned for one. Would do anything just to get one. Once day they were brought to a barn door, chockful of horse puckey. (I'm sure he said shit, but Iet's pretend he didn't swear in front of a 7 year old.) The first twin started bawling. "Why that's nothin but a bunch of puckey.... WWHAAAAA I wanted a pony... WWhhAAAAAAA.....

"The second twin grabbed a shovel and started shoveling for all she was worth. Between huffs and puffs she gasped out 'With all this horse puckey, there's GOT to be a pony in there SOMEWHERE!!!!'.

"And that's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist", he said. "It's all in how you see things. You got a choice"

My little 7 year old brain latched onto that one. Hmmm, I'ld rather believe there a pony in there. You can choose how to look at things. The glass can be half full, or half empty.... Hmmm. I like that.

I thought of my Mom on our yearly trips to Seattle during the broiling valley heat. Wet dishrags tucked into the windows to mimic the air conditioning we didn't have. She'd say "It could be worse. Aren't we lucky we brought dish rags?"

Driving through the flammable fields of dry dead grass on either side of the road..."Don't you just love the shimmering golden hills of California? We're so lucky. Look how the breeze billows patterns into those fields. It's art, I tell you." Hmm... never noticed. Before.

Now I can't see a dry field without thinking of my Mom's viewpoint. And marveling at the beauty. It may have been a child's decision to make my Dad happy. It may have been a way to make teachers like me. Or to be like my Mom. Who cares. I made the choice. And it's stuck with me my whole life.

Now, every time I hear someone whine about the market, and how it sucks, and how much equity we have lost, I think of horse puckey... "Yeah, but think of the buyers who are being offered the golden ticket". Complaints of interest going above 5%???"You gotta be kidding.... it could be 8%.... 5's a gift."

It's all in how you look at it.

There's a silver lining to every cloud.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

And ya can't teach old dogs new tricks..... Now I'm stuck with it.

Life is good.

flickr photos by Jason0Morrison and VisualPanic

How I learned... to put the FUN in Fundraising.... and channel my inner hillbilly

Sweet Potatoe Sal here... befor I git kot jackin Sally's blog, I wunna tel ya'all bout my Hillbilly Olimpiks yesturdai, wher we razed $600 fer the Salvation Army and C.A.R.E.

See, Sal's ofiss has razed $200K fer char-ty, haff a which kame from soshul partees they throwd. Peeple bot thair tikets last November at a Chili Feed at Lyon Real Estate in Fair Oaks, then she got me, Sweet Potatoe Sal, ta kum up with some gamin and food fer the partee. It wuz at Ancil Hoffman Park in Carmichael - peeple hed ta ware thair Sunday best, as yul see in this muvin pitchur below.

thar seems ta be some problem with this new fangeled movee stuff. Sumtimes it's thare, sometimes not.... jest like my sens a humor with teknacul difikultys. I'm workin on it... be patent, and ya'll kum bek, y'hear?

Awr gamin wuz fun... PBR beer kan relay, toelit trottin, 3 leggit hippity hop, and cherree pit spittin. Downhome Dennis roold on the pit spittin. A Washurs turnamit wuz the hi-lite. Clayster roold thet won. Thay wuz all bedder at pitchin them washurs after drinkin Junebug Julie's Pond Scum Punch, ah'l tell yu.

OK... Sally here. I sent Sweet Potatoe Sal packing. She hi-jacks my blog WAY too often. She's back in the spud patch now.

Here's how we raise so much money for our charities. We've held our lunchtime Chili Feed and Auction in our Lyon office parking lot for over 10 years. All the agents bring chili, salads, desserts and such. We charge $5 to get in, and usually have 250 - 300 people come. Do the math on that. Total, we'll raise $20,000 - $33,000 in that 3 hour period. To date we've raised around $200K!

Our big bucks come from our auction, but half of that comes from our social events. Different agents will volunteer to host an event. We've had poker parties, video scavenger hunts, talent shows, Irish parties, gourmet dinners, pirate parties, and even a Cinco De Silk Road party on May 5th. Everyone came dressed as a gypsy/goat herder/sheik/sultan/belly dancer etc. It was wild. My party this year was my Hillbilly Olympics.

The way it works.... The donor pre-selects the theme, date, time, location and # of attendees. We make a sign up sheet. At the auction, the last table to close is the social event table. You sign up for a ticket to the party (usually $15 - $45 apiece). That way the guest list will be a self-selected group who wants to come to your party. If more people want to come than there are spots for, the price goes up.

We usually make $9,000 - $12,000 on the parties alone. (My pirate party had 40 people pay $45 apiece. That's $1800 on one party alone. Course, then I had to pay to put it on!)

The best part is that our family of agents has a rocking social life throught the upcoming year. Our event is always in November, then the parties start in January usually, contiinuing right up til the following October. Next week I'm attending a Martini party. The Oktoberfest is still a ways off. A day on a houseboat is planned for this summer... with jet skiis and all. Two weeks ago was the Irish Fest.

Whew... how do we have time to sell homes with all that socializing????

I Was Nearly Scammed on Craiglist, But Was Saved by a Doubting David.

I'm in the market for a new MacBook computer. Too expensive new, so I check Craiglist.

(Hmmm, this looks good)... 320 Gg, (umhum)... bought in December with 3 year Apple Care (awesome... that's $350 right there) He's in school in Italy but the pute is configured for US.. (K)... Wrong pute for his engineering class in Milan (yeah, a rich kid, probably Mommy bought it for him... maybe he doesn't know the value), $1300 - (wow, $1200 cheap.. this guys so naive).. umhum... it has all the software I need PRELOADED, with the backup discs and key numbers (OK I'm scoring here.... this is $3200 worth of stuff. I got him by the hook, now just reel him in). But how to get it and is this legit?....

He'll set it up with TNT shipping ... delivery in 2 days, I pay them, I have 5 days to check it out before I authorize releasing the funds to him. (that's cool... better check them out) Yep, got a great website... and they do this sort of thing (Man, I've scored, what could go wrong?) Call apple "Yes you can transfer the warranty". (This is my lucky day... probably everyone else was put off by Italy, the bozos, but I know we live in a Flat World - this is awesome!) Email back.. "We got a deal! Here's my address...."

WooHoo, honey... I scored. Listen to what I'm getting in 2 days... blah, blah,blah. Idnthatgreat!

Doubtful David (what a party pooper) says "Have you checked this out, sounds like a scam to me"? Are you flippin kidding, of course I did. I've been to TNT's website, I checked for the shool he goes to, I called Apple... I got it covered, baby.... what turnip truck do you think I just fell of of?... HMMMM?

"Well anyone can set up a website... I'd check out a disinterested 3rd party's opinion" You are soooo negative, but I'll humor you...sheesh.

Fast forward 5 minutes... googling "TNT shipping opinions"... "Scam... Better Business Bureau... Washington Post... class action...avoid this scam... product from Europe... 2 day delivery... U.S. configuration... this is a scam... lose your money..."

Crap. Doubting David was right. I would have been contacted by a phony TNT (not the real one), and given my check to them, although I am sure I would have been suspicious when it wasn't in exchange for the actual product - they supposedly then arrange delivery to you. But you trust them because they have a legit web site, right? But you guessed it... the product never arrives, because it doesn't exist. And the real TNT is not involved. They just got their name jacked by some cretin with an email address.

So I'm now sad and back on Craigslist looking for a local owner who I can meet eyeball to eyeball.... I won't get my $1300 deal on the $3200 computer.... dang. But what a valuable lesson.

Doubting David turned into De-savior David.

Flickr photos by JePoirrier & ToastyKen

How I Learned to...Channel my Inner Hillbilly

There is a contest in a networking group I'm in to celebrate spring... "Write your best stuff using "Spring Fresh" in the title". Hmmm... flowers, butterflies, baby bunnies.... didn't float my boat. So here's my submission......

SPRING FRESH, by Sweet Potata Sal.....

It was a foggy nite in Frog Bottom Holler. I was cleaning my nails by the fire with my buck nife, (makin my toes mitely cold), griping about mama's mouseleg pie.... "Mawmaw, ya'll didn't make enuf agin."

"Sweet Potata Sal" said Mawmaw.... "Get the stink out of yer britches, an git a move on honey chile.. go mekk yerself useful." (I felt the ghost of Jed Clampet in the room... but I digress...)

So I grabbed up my huntin gun, Miss Rowdybuck, woke up 'ol Geezergirl (who wuz lickin her... well never you mind), and headed off into the nite, looking fer sompun fer dinner.

We got two miles from home, when ‘ol Geezergirl spotted a ‘coon. "OOOWWWLLLLLLL...." And she wuz off on the chase. Over hill, under dale, thru the crik, down the gulley, past old lady Washman's londry hangin on the line..... (I only grabbed one pair of unnerware... I was due fer a change... it HAD been a year)

"I'm comin, Geezergirl.....folla that ‘coon.

Geezy's howlin seemed to stay put fur a minute. Had she treed the coon? As I got near, I could see it... little ringtailed stripes hiding on a limb... eyes as big as a harvest moon. Shakin jest a tad.... OK a lot.

As I stood there ponderin how to get that raccoon out of the tree, Geezy spun around in her eggsitmunt, and knocked me flat on the ground... well not ON the ground, cuz ther was a spring coming out of the ground - rite there... and I was IN it. "Geez, now what do I do?".. (as if Geezy could talk... sometimes I'm dummer then a fence post!)

I must uh broke my head or sumptin... cause I was seeing two coons up in that tree, cept when I closed 1 eye. I think I wuz up the crik without a paddel, if ya know what I mean!

"Geezy...ya gotta go git help, girl." If that didn't work, I didn't know what to do, cause I was broke-headed in the spring, fresh outta idears.....

"Run, Geezy, Run"


Flickr fotos by Velo Steve, and Molagen... must be coon hunters!

How I learned to... "Leap and the Net Will Appear"

As a realtor we are faced with new situations all the time.  A new area, a challenging personality, new software, an "unsurmountable" escrow problem.  While it may seem impossible to deal with some of these challenges, I've come to know you have to just take it one step at a time and trust you will figure it out as you go.  I've learned to "leap and the net will appear".  Just do it!

So how did I learn this?

I started dreaming when my youngest was a high school sophomore, about making a video for her class, and trying to capture some, a lot, most, nearly all... all 250 kids in her class. Criminy, how do I do that?

I just started videoing, not knowing how to do it, but believing I would figure it out. I knew how to point a camera, knew how to do basic editing (I had done 2 other water polo season videos), and knew how to make a cool DVD. But this was HUGE. I decided to take it one step at a time, and make progress, but not expect perfection.

I started showing up with my camera... water polo, football, baseball, hallways at lunch, rallies, homecoming hall decorating, interviews with the kids. It was so fun. For 3 years... a few probably thought I was stalking them.
Two months before graduation, I started editing. In between escrows, signings, showing homes, marketing, cleaning house, cooking, sleeping. Actually, my husband did all the cooking and cleaning so I could edit... edit....edit. Oops, not enough computer memory... buy more. Crud, what's with the sluggish playback... call help line. Why doesn't this transition work?... swear for two days and don't sleep. OOHHH... I figured it out. Wait, I forgot two seniors from softball... run to a game in the rain.

The night I processed the final version (it takes all night) it all appeared to crash. Help line to Sally.. "You have an irreparable bug. You'll just have to start over." Sally to help line... "@%^*$#*$*(#&$*#... no freakin way!!!". 3 years of my life down the drain. But I wouldn't accept that. I looked at it from outside the box. I WILL figure it out. "Maybe this is it". Another night of processing. 3 am. I'm at the pute checking it. I play it back. IT WORKS!!!!! I do a little victory dance and scream in my head to the video gods.

My daughter softly calls to me from the dark. She is also awake, knowing what's at stake. I snuggle into her bed, dissolving into tears at the relief that the biggest technical endeavor of my life turned out. She holds me, our long legs wrapped around each others, entwined in such loving intimacy. We lay there until dawn, chatting... expounding on "going for it", marveling at technology, gossiping about kids in her class, talking about the future... about life. I knew it was a moment that would stay with me til my dying breath. So precious, so amazing, so in the moment. Her loving what I had done for her, and for all the kids of her class.

I went in to work that morning wrung out from crying and the tension release. On my chair was a hand-written note from my daughter...

"Momma... while it may at times seem like nobody appreciates the countless hours you've spent working on this video, what you have created for my class is something that will touch many kids.

"The impact you and Dad have had on the students at Del Campo is too great to measure. While it may seem that some of the sacrifices are in vain, remember the kids you two have been second parents to, the friends of ours that look to you for advice, those you have cared for. The girls Dad baked cookies for, bought Sierra Shootout T-shirts for, the girls he taught to have confidence. By sending out emails to organize homecoming halls you gave some kids the first homemade cookies they had had in years.

"In the same way, this video will give the students whose parents never owned a video camera the first glimpse of them playing a sport, or the only picture they have of their lunchtime group. This video will give the seniors something to look back on. And more importantly, proof that someone other than their parents cares and is willing to make sacrifices for them. I am so fortunate to be your daughter and a part of your life. I love you both."

More tears.

Grad night came around. Bowling, blackjack, video karaoke, sticker tattoos... a long night of fun. At 2 am the kids assembled for a movie, not knowing what to expect, most not wanting to take time out from their fun. The video rolled. Dead silence. More dead silence. Jaws agape. No movement. No blinking. Sweetness is background music to a section. "Whooo--oo-oo--ooo......" all in unison. They are mesmerized. Entranced. Stunned. For 59 minutes.

It was all worth it.

Weeks later, I was in a gift shop. On the wall was a plaque... "Leap and the net will appear". That was it! That was what I had done! I had leap off the cliff, not knowing whether I could pull it off, but knowing that putting one edit in front of the next, one song choice laid down at a time, one transition before the next one was how to do it. Solve each problem as it came along. I believed I could do it if I made daily progress, even though it seemed impossible at times.

And the net did appear. I figured it all out.



Flickr photo by eidur k

How I Learned... "The Devil is in the Details", and ended a lifetime of migraines without meds.

Being a realtor takes an incredible amount of energy.  Your days are long, and it is demanding to deal with the fires we put out, and the changing issues we deal with.  Try doing it with a migraine!

I've had migraines since I was tiny... at least 5. Two to 3 a week. When I didn't have a migraine, I felt crappy - tight shoulders, tight neck, throbbing base of my neck. Generally like I wanted to lie on the couch all day, but I didn't. Yet I was so happy to not have a migraine, I paid no attention.

Never dawned on me it might be something I was eating. But I've discovered 13 nondescript, bizarre little stealth bombers that are the culprits. Things like guar gum, red wine vinegar (not balsamic, thank god), and whey. Pesky little details... Go figure.

How did I do it? I read a book called Eat Right for Your Type, about what foods conflict with the 4 blood types. Sounds pretty hocus pocus, if you ask me. But I liked the things on my "good for you" list (meat, veggies, fruits, no dairy, no wheat, no spuds... I'm an "O"). I could handle it. I went cold turkey, reading every label thoroughly, and making lists of ingredients that didn't bother me, and those that did. It took 2 years.

I had figured out on my own that whey gave me migraines (and eating betaine enzymes helped with that), but not the other stuff. I started noticing I was feeling pretty good... consistently. Like.. a normal neck and loose shoulders. Like... great! Dang, I liked it! I didn't know people could feel this way. WooHoo, I can tackle the world. I'm raring to go!

First I noticed guar gum.. WHAT IN THE HECK'S THAT!. Then, capers... pffffuuhh... I love capers. Then sunflower oil, red wine vinegar, all cheeses except mozarella, feta and farmer's (yeah, so pizza's mostly out), and arabic gum, for crying out loud. Who ever heard of that? But my blood had, and they were mortal enemies. My blood went into attack mode, bringing out the heavy artillery to fight off the invaders, wreaking havoc in my brain.

So how did it take me 57 years to figure this out? I honestly never had a clue it was what I ate. From the time I was little, they poked, prodded, hooked me up to needles, you name it. "Oh, your daughter has a mild brain anomaly,... a short circuit, so to speak. Let's put her on phenobarbital, see if that helps." I was 10.

Other drugs and mumbo jumbo came and went, all to no avail. It was still 2 - 3 a week. There was no test that gave a definitive answer. Fortunately Imitrex came along a relieved the migraines, but nothing stopped the funky feeling. The sad part is how I would never commit myself to anything where I would need to be counted on, because I didn't know how I would feel. I'm amazed I tackled college, but remember sitting through finals on the verge of puking, and dropping my grade a whole notch in a class I adored and should have aced.

Today? I'm Queen of the World!!!!! I feel great! (cept when one of those pesky little details slips into my food). I have so much energy, I'm exhilarated, and so charged up I can barely stand it! The down side?... I'm a real hit at dinner parties - I don't eat it if I can't read it. Otherwise I pay the price for 1-1/2 days. And going out to eat is no fun any more. Small price to pay, however, for finally finding bliss.

Woo Hoo..... Big time!

flickr photo by joana roja-left hand/arm & migraine chick